Vodka, and Shooters, and Beer, Oh My!
by Cathartic Trance
Summary: When truth or dare gets out of hand, just blame it on the alcohol. A response to Myhi's challenge at the VinTi forum. One shot.


Hellos! I've been having trouble with ending chapter 8 of Crimson Conflict, so I decided to take up Myhi's challenge to distract me for a while.

Disclaimer: Read my profile, dammit.

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Pink. Why did the damn dress have to be pink? Right when Cid and Barret showed me this God forsaken thing, I knew that playing truth or dare was a horrible idea. They were drunk for crying out loud! I don't even know why I accepted this demeaning challenge!

I sigh as I get on the diving board. I pick up the half-torn skirt and prepare to jump. Oh Gods... How did I get into this mess?

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We were having a reunion. A very boring reunion. We'd already had one just a few weeks before, but I, being the lonely woman I am, forced everyone to come anyway.

"Come on, Cid!" I had pleaded. "It'll be another opportunity to... catch up!"

The rugged pilot just rolled his eyes at me. "Fuck, Tifa! We've already done enough goddamn catching up!" he snapped.

And he was right. There wasn't anything new with the AVALANCHE crew. No new endeavors. No new relationships. Hell, not even a new wardrobe. Yuffie stopped stealing materia (okay, she didn't steal _as much_ materia) and, from what I've heard, hasn't stolen for a while. Barrethad been cleaning up Corel and he was in the process rebuilding it for a few months now. Cid still lived with Shera and was attempting to build another rocket. Red lived at Cosmo Canyon where he'd read some of his grandfather's observations. Reeve, who controlled the robotic Cait, hadn't come to any reunion, though he would occasionally call. Vincent traveled here and there, but visited me in Kalm often. And Cloud? He disappeared on me... But I don't care where he is. He could be dead in a ditch or dressing up for Don Corneo again for all I care.

We sat in my house, drinking beer, shooters, wine and all sorts of alcoholic drinks that I'd gotten from my bar. There were a few small conversations here and there, but besides that, an awkward silence befell us. Yes, it was a very boring reunion.

After a particularly long silence, Yuffie sighed exasperatedly.

"I AM SO BORED!" she yelled out in frustration.

I thought quickly, trying to come up with something the least bit entertaining.

"Let's watch a movie then!" I suggested.

"The store's fucking closed." Cid retorted.

"Let's swim." I tried again.

"Too cold."

"Then we'll..." I tapped my chin thoughtfully. "We'll play a game!"

Barret snorted. "And wha' game we gon' play?"

I glanced at Yuffie for some help. It was a moment before she got a mischievous grin playing on her features.

"Truth" she said, "or Dare."

Red snorted in contempt before moving away from the group. Yuffie noticed this and bounced over to him.

"Oh, come on Reddie-kins!" she said teasingly.

Red just moved further away. "I have notions of what you'd do to me, so no thank you."

The seventeen year old girl giggled, but she let him be.

"So, anyone up for truth or dare?" I asked hopefully. Anything to stop the awkward silences.

Cid and Barret were very enthusiastic with the idea, having consumed a good amount of alcohol. Red was already sitting out of the game. Vincent shrugged. So I guess majority rules...

"Ooh, ooh! Me first!" Yuffie cried out excitedly. "Okay... um... Barret, truth or dare?"

The burly man chose dare. Yuffie laughed incessantly before actually telling him his dare.

"Kiss Cid!" she said, fighting the giggles that threatened to come out. "On the lips." she added as a second thought.

Cid and Barret's eyes right about popped out of their sockets. "NO fucking way!" they both cried out in unison. This just made Yuffie laugh harder though.

"But it's truth or dare and you _have_ to do the dare!" Yuffie chided.

The two older men glared at her, but they did it in the end, too full of pride to back down. Taking a swig of some rather strong alcohol, Barret grimaced and quickly pecked the rugged pilot. Yuffie snickered gleefully at the scene before her.

"Yeah, yeah. We'll see who gon' be laughing..." Barret muttered while wiping his mouth. "So Yuffs... Truth or dare?"

Yuffie thought for a moment. She chose truth, since she probably knew Barret would make her do something much worse than kissing another girl. This displeased him and he taunted her for being a coward, but she shrugged and urged him on.

"Fine." he said. Looking around, his eyes fell on the red-cloaked man.

"You been crushin' on Vincent?" he asked. The alcohol must have been taking effect for him to choose something as childish as _that_.

At his question, Yuffie slightly blushed. It had been quite obvious that she was smitten with the gunman during our travels. I wouldn't blame her though. He _is_ an attractive man. Hell, he looks like a god! He's just too intimidating to approach.

"C'mon Yuffie!" Cid jeered. "Tell us the truth or we make you."

Yuffie gulped and nodded timidly. "But that was SO last year!" she said, gaining her composure quickly.

She glanced at the tall gunslinger, but he paid us no attention. She sighed in relief, taking his lack of reaction to be a good sign and turned back to the guffawing middle-aged men.

I decided that I should get a turn, so I chose Cid and asked him, "Truth or dare?"

"Truth." Cid said immediately, not wanting to relive another kiss-Barret-on-the-lips experience.

"Have you ever..." I paused, trying to find an appropriate word for the notion in my head. "Have you ever bedded Shera?"

Cid snorted and shook his head. We all looked at him in disbelief. "What?" he snapped.

"Come on, Cid!" Yuffie snickered mockingly, "You gotta tell us the truth and nothing but the truth!"

The pilot rolled his eyes. "Whatever shit I say stays in this house, or you get my Venus Gospel up your sorry ass! Got it?" he said with warning. We all nodded automatically, just wanting to know the truth.

Cid sighed. "We were drunk, okay?" His tone wasn't believable again, though. Our faces said it all.

"I'm fuckin' telling you! It was only once!"

More disbelief.

"Okay, fine. Twice."

Again.

"Aw, shit." Cid grumbled. "Five... At least, that's all I remember..."

We all broke out in laughter at his confession. Barret punched him in the arm, telling him that it was about time and "Five times? Foo', why you hidin' that?"

When the laughter died down a bit, Cid declared that it was his turn. I knew that he was seeking revenge, but unlike everyone else who knew this, I chose dare. All my secrets were better left kept with me and I'd risk doing a dare than letting them out.

Cid beckoned for Barret and Yuffie to come closer. They huddled in a circle, chuckling evilly and taking swigs of alcohol as they discussed what kind of torture they should put me in. It was totally unfair, but I decided to let them have their fun. It couldn't be that bad... could it?

Well, apparently, it could.

When they were finished their discussion, they all wore devillish looks. The way they looked at me couldn't have been a good sign. In nervousness, I gulped down all of the contents of the beer bottle I'd been drinking. I felt a little woozy for a moment before I regained my composure.

"You have to dive in the pool with a dress and all that shit you women wear." Cid said, jabbing his thumb at the pool in my backyard.

That didn't sound too bad. I was getting up to get a dress when Yuffie pulled me back down. I had a questioning look in my eyes.

"We're gonna buy a dress for you." she grinned.

"Why go through all the trouble?" I inquired worriedly.

"Oh, I saw this wonderful dress that would be _perfect_ for such an occasion!" the teen said

This was beginning to sound less and less inviting.

We were out of the house in a flash, Cid and Barret dragging me with them and Yuffie in the lead. We walked to a store that the teen pointed at, and I don't know how it was open at such a late hour, but we entered it nonetheless. It was a store for dresses, used and new. The younger girl steered us to a rack near the window. It had used dresses for very low prices. Yuffie rummaged about the rack, muttering that she could have sworn she'd seen it earlier. Finally, she pulled out a long, rather pouffy, frilly, pink dress. It looked about a century old, with large pink bows going down the sides of the ankle-length skirt. There were huge, pink puff-balls for the shoulders and a ruffly corset in a darker shade of pink. The bosom puffed out rather noticeably. The sight hurt my eyes, but unfortunately, it came in my size.

"No!" I protested, "That's an abomination to all dresses!"

"It's either that," Cid said, "or nothing on at all."

I snatched the dress and nodded my head vigorously. There was no way I was skinny dipping!

Yuffie rushed over to the half-asleep cashier. "We'll buy this one!" she exclaimed.

The older woman behind the counter grimaced at the dress and just punched in the price. It was two hundred gil. Yuffie pulled the wad of cash from her shorts and placed it on the counter for the cashier to take. When the dress was paid for, Yuffie bounced back happily to us.

"Put it on now!" she said, dragging me over to the change rooms.

She threw me in a random change room and ordered Cid to hold the door. I was trapped. I decided to do this without a fight just to get it over with. Sighing, I stripped my tank top, leather skirt, gloves and boots and then slipped on the horrid dress. Suddenly, a pair of pink high heels came flying over the door into the confined space. The shoes were just as frightening as the dress, with tufts of pink lace on the toes. I slipped the blasted things on before slamming on the door with my fist for them to let me out. The door splintered a bit. Whoops.

Cid let go of the door and revealed me to their waiting eyes. They all laughed at the sight before them, and no matter how funny I had to admit I looked, I wouldn't bring myself to laugh with them. Grabbing the pile of clothes I usually wear, I marched out of the change room, out of the store and back to my house, ignoring the teasing remarks from my so-called 'comrades'. I tossed the pile onto a couch and turned back towards them.

"Okay, I gotta get something out of this." I said, "I mean, you're already making me wear this God forsaken thing!"

Yuffie thought for a moment and scanned the room, looking for something worthwhile to give me.

"A kiss from Cid." she offered.

"Ew no!" he and I both said.

"A kiss from Barret."

"He's like a father to me!"

"Fine. A kiss from me?"

My eyes widened and she laughed.

"I was just joking."

She scanned the room again and then grinned.

"A kiss from Vincent."

I looked at the stoic gunman. Tall, dark and handsome, but impossible to approach. This was probably a once in a lifetime opportunity and I wasn't going to pass it up. I extended my hand and Yuffie clasped it in her own and we shook, sealing our little deal.

Maybe I was desperate. Maybe I was drunk. Either way, I would get to kiss Vincent Valentine.

I glanced at Vincent who still sat on my black couch. If he was surprised, appalled, or angry about this, he didn't show it. Instead, his red eyes were staring at me without any contempt at all. He stood up and approached us and I could have sworn my face was getting redder every second. He stopped in front of me.

"You'll drown with that thing on." he simply said.

When I thought about it, it was true. The material of the dress was far too heavy and it would weigh me down. I felt a surge of anger and I whipped around to face the geniuses of this whole plan. They looked thoughtful and confused.

"Shit." Cid muttered.

"You could have killed me, dammit!" I cried angrily.

Barret, Cid and Yuffie all took a step backwards. "We're sorry!" Yuffie said apologetically. "We weren't thinking. But we could fix this easily."

I raised my eyebrows. "I'm not skinny dipping."

Yuffie chuckled. "No! You're not going to skinny dip! We just have to trim the dress a bit. Pass me a knife."

She held her hand out expecting me to give her one. I don't own any knives, forks or spoons, though. I cook my breakfasts, lunches and dinners at the bar and besides, my fridge and stove are both defunct. I explained this to her and she looked at me like I was crazy.

"Who doesn't own at least ONE knife?" she asked incredulously.

"Apparently, me." I said.

"Do you have scissors?"

I shook my head. "Didn't you bring your shurikens?"

Yuffie shook her head, too.

Suddenly, I felt a tugging on the dress' skirt. It was ripping. I looked down and blushed furiously when I saw Vincent on the floor, using his claw to hack through the thick material.

"Now, Vincent, you don't have to go through the trouble..." I said shakily, my face beet red.

"No, no, Vinnie. Just continue! Tifa _loooves_ what you're doing!" Yuffie urged him on gleefully, seeing the embarrassment on my features. I guess her crush on him had really been 'so last year'.

Having him cut my dress was torture enough, but when I felt the slightest touch of his fingers on my leg (which I'm sure was an accident), my knees buckled. Vincent caught me quickly before I fell to the ground.

"Are you alright Miss Lockheart?" he inquired.

I nodded. "I'm okay." I said while standing up again. "And why do you call me Miss Lockheart? We've known each other long enough for you to call me Tifa."

He nodded before continuing to cut the pink fabric. While he did this, Cid and Barret, in their drunken state, cheered him on, whistling and hooting. I'm sure that if they were sober, they wouldn't be quite so thrilled with what Vincent was doing, but they were drunk and it would not be so. In fact, I think Vincent must have had a drink or two too much if he was doing _this_.

The tantalizing experience was finally over when Vincent finished his little job. The dress skirt now only reached just above my knees. The hem was torn and unruly, but that's what happens when you use a claw instead of scissors. I stepped out of the circle of the torn fabric of the dress and Vincent picked it up.

"Thanks..." I said weakly.

"It was my pleasure." Vincent replied. And was that a smirk on his face? No It couldn't be. When I looked closer, it was gone, so I guess I was just imagining things... right?

Shrugging the thought off, I stepped out of the back door. The air had gotten colder from the last time we came outside, but that time I was struggling and a pair of men were holding me, so I guess it didn't exactly get colder. I shivered a bit as a slight breeze blew on my bare skin. The pool lights were on, so I could see well enough without turning on the outdoor lights. Mounting the diving board, I kicked off the high heels since I couldn't possibly do a dive in them.

I turned and saw Yuffie with a camcorder. I don't remember ever giving her one or her ever bringing it, but I guess it didn't matter now. Blocking out the hollers and cheers from Cid, Barret and Yuffie, I prepared to dive.

One...

Two...

Three...

And I jumped.

The water was freezing! Maneuvering my body so that I faced the surface, I used the bottom to push myself upwards. As I got closer, I began to hear the enthusiastic cheers and whistles from my friends. When I broke through the surface, a cold wind hit my face and made my teeth chatter. I swam while shivering to the ladder to get out. The damn breeze wouldn't stop and it made me even colder as I stepped back onto solid ground.

"Get me a towel!" I snapped, my voice quivering from the coldness.

Instead of a towel, I got Vincent's red cloak. I looked up at is red orbs questioningly when I remembered something.

"You owe me a kiss." I reminded him.

"I don't remember ever giving my consent." he said.

"I don't remember you ever protesting, so pucker up." I replied.

He laughed lightly before bringing his face down to mine, letting our lips meet. Oh Gods, this must have been a dream. Either that or he was too drunk to care. It was just too good to be true. But it was definitely real. The warmth that flooded through my body was such an amazing sensation. Subconsciously, I wrapped my arms around his neck and deepened the kiss. I opened my mouth slightly and felt his warm tongue slip in.

And that's when I realized that I didn't taste any alcohol. Which meant that Vincent was sober. And _that_ meant that he did everything consciously. Cutting my dress. Giving me his cloak. _Kissing_ _me_. It was all without alcohol.

When we finally parted, I was gasping for air. I blushed madly and this time I saw his smirk.

"Was that satisfactory?" he asked.

I shook my head. "No?" he inquired.

"It was so much better than that." I sighed. He laughed.

"So tell me, Vincent." I said. "Did you have anything to drink?"

He smirked. "Not a single glass."

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Oh my gosh. I haven't written something like this in so long. I hope it was decent enough.

And by the way, you don't have to review, but I will give you a cookie if you do! cheesy grin


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